That Time I Turned 40

I turned 40, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the story so far.

I was born May 11, 1986 in Jacksonville, North Carolina to Matthew and Suzanne Ide. My mom had my ears pierced at six weeks old (still laughing at that). My dad was in the Marine Corps, so my first year of life was in Okinawa, Japan.

I had a childhood that was love in motion: my dad eating my peas at the dinner table, my mom planning the best adventures from Hawaii to Disney World, backyard paths to friends’ houses, bikes to downtown Concord, birthday parties that felt like magic. I was always a “happy girl,” always laughing too loud, always creating something, always trying.

I fell running hurdles in track and got back up bleeding and ran them again. I learned early: you get back up.

I got into Carolina in a moment I’ll never forget: yellow walls, my desk, my computer, my mom on the phone saying she never doubted me for a second. I met Hank on the first day of class at 8 a.m. freshman year, and I fell hard for Carolina and everything it opened in me.

I’ve worked, built, loved, lost, become a mom, built a life I’m proud of, and learned again and again that nothing good comes easily but everything meaningful is worth it.

I’m lucky in love, family, friendship, community. I love the water, travel, laughter, late nights with friends and this past year, Mahjong (which somehow turned into one of my favorite forms of joy and connection). And, a good latte is basically emotional support at this point.

I’ve been chiseled by life, and I’m still being shaped. I love who I am today. I just wish my mom were here to see it.

At the center of everything for me has been this: life is short. That’s the one that sits front and center. It shapes how I love, how I show up and how I choose to live.

These aren’t rules. Just little “isms” I’ve picked up along the way, the things I actually try to live by. If one sticks with you, take it:

1. Life is short.
Don't wait. Say it. Try it. Go for it.

2. If your eyes open in the morning, God’s not done with you yet.
So choose. Show up. Do the thing.

3. It’s a gift just to exist.
Don’t waste that on autopilot.

4. “Wherever you be, be all there.”
Presence is rare and people feel it.

5. Don’t be in such a hurry.
Because then what happens to the moment you're in?

6. Go for the walk.
I’m not perfect at taking care of myself, but I’ve never once regretted a walk.

7. Laugh … and then laugh some more.
Life gets lighter when you do.

8. Don’t take life too seriously.
“C’est la vie” will carry you far.

9. Make sure your kids see you smiling at them.
That becomes their inner voice one day.

10. Call your parents.
I promise you won’t regret how often you did.

11. Give the compliment (they are free!).
Say it out loud. Don’t assume they know.

12. Everyone is carrying something.
Lead with kindness, you don’t know the full story.

13. There’s a seat for everyone at the table.
Be the person who makes space.

14. Community is everything.
Sometimes the unexpected path leads you right to your people. (Thank you, Scarlett Love)

15. Always have a cooler and a few drinks.
It sounds simple but that’s how community starts.

16. Be unapologetically yourself.
That’s where real connection happens.

17. Work on breaking down your walls.
Growth lives on the other side of vulnerability.

18. Be an open book when you can.
It gives others permission to do the same.

19. Say what you want out loud.
People can’t read your mind.

20. Ask a million questions.
Everyone has a story, learn it.

21. How you do anything is how you do everything.
Do it with excellence, it carries.

22. Leaders lead with heart and clarity.
People follow how you make them feel.

23. Make your boss’s job easier.
It always comes back around.

24. Choose work you get to do, not have to do.
That shift changes everything.

25. Find what you love and figure out how to get paid for it.
It’s possible. Keep moving toward it.

26. Own your mistakes.
Apologize quickly. Ask for forgiveness. Grow forward.

27. Don’t ask “why me?” ask “why not me?”
Perspective changes everything.

28. What’s bad today doesn’t have to be bad tomorrow.
The choice is yours.

29. I’ve learned to love some things I once wished never happened.
They shaped me.

30. Don’t mind the chisel.
We’re all a work in progress.

31. Celebrate the little things.
That’s where most of life actually happens.

32. Celebrate yourself BIG.
Yes, even on Valentine’s Day.

33. Live with enthusiasm.
Energy is contagious.

34. Have your guilty pleasures (Hi, Jellycats, Kardashians and Peanut Butter M&Ms)
Joy doesn’t need justification.

35. Be a “jolly joy ball” when you can. (The nickname of a lifetime from Leighton.)
Lighten the room.

36. Clean out what doesn’t bring you joy.
Your space affects your mind.

37. Shop small.
It builds real community.

38. Slow down to save money.
I literally mean it, if I’m not speeding, I’m not getting a ticket.

39. Learn something new just for fun.
Pick up the hobby. Try the thing. (Mahjong changed my whole social life.)

40. Be a tourist in your own town.
It makes you appreciate where you already are.

At the end of the day, all I really want is for the people around me to feel loved, valued and like they matter.

Still learning. Still growing. Still being shaped.

Here’s to 40.